uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize