awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
