Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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