hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
