tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
