that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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