Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
