If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
