she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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