I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
