You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it's great music for shaving your balls
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
