i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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