found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
