AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize