there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
