Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
