i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
