Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
