ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
