i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
