dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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