Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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