When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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