I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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