Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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