I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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