I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
