dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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