My Higher Power is John Stamos
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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