please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
