im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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