did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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