Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I would fuck him just for his dog
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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