Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
