He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
