Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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