He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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