It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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