quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
