Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
