wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
