Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize