hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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