His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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