I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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