i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
