P.S. I can't hear my feet
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i came on her dog
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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