i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
