I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
