Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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