Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
