I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
