wat bout pragnant strippers??
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You made out with two different species that night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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