So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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