Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
