What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
