they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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