Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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