Duck Duck Cougar?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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