i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
