Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dignity is for republicans.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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