I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
