Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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